A Not So Ordinary Place
by Christine Ruud
Summary: Just random scenes I happen to come up with. Like them? Hate them? Let me...know.
1. Polar Opposites

"Ah, the first snowfall of the year," Hawkeye said as he left the Swamp.

"Lovely," snapped Charles. "Another reminder of how far away I am from Boston. Do you realize that if I were home, I would right now be luxuriating in the comfort of the opera house? Instead I'm here. Boston's polar opposite."

"That's the most he's said all day," B.J. told Hawkeye.


	2. Sniveling Ferrets and Flying Lamps

"Margaret, I wanted to-"

"Get out, Frank," said the blonde head nurse coolly.

"But sweetums-"

"Out."

"I just wa-"

"_Out_!" screeched Margaret.

The snivelling ferret left the tent, not so much because of Margaret's urging, but because of the lamp that was coming straight towards his head.


	3. A Little Too Late

"Well look who it is. My favorite blonde major," Hawkeye said as he sat down next to her in the Officer's Club. "Want a drink?"

"No," Margaret answered.

"Want to dance?"

"No."

"Wanna go back to my tent?"

"No."

"Then what do you want to do?"

"I want to sit here and feel sorry for myself. Do you mind?"

"Uh, no, not at all." Hawkeye stood up and strolled over to Lieutenant Armstrong.

It wasn't until he was gone that Margaret realized two things:

She wanted a drink and she wanted to dance.


	4. What Frightens Him

He can't remember how many times he's done last rights. Fifty? Maybe a hundred? There have been so many unnamed soldiers that he's knelt over, sending their soul on its way. He prays that each one will be the last.

It's not. More keep coming.

The 4077th has the highest casualty survival rate, but that's no consolation. Whether it's one or ten, dead is dead.

But he simply cannot remember how many times he's done last rights.

And that's what frightens him.

_A/N: This seems quite familiar. I swear, I didn't plagarize, at least not intentionally! So please, if this belongs to someone, tell me, I'll take it down, and send a message begging for forgiveness._


	5. Hell Hath No Fury

"I do not BELIEVE her!" Kellye threw her robe at the wall of her tent angrily. "Scrub the bedpans, when we've already scrubbed them ten minutes ago! Make the empty beds again! And then--when we do something that's not perfect--she has the gall to yell at us for being inattentive!"

Margie shook her head as she sat down on her cot. "Something's got under her collar."

"I know what it is," said Able. "Apparently she and Major Burns had a pretty big falling-out last night. They're not speaking."

"Figures. The two lovebirds have a disagreement and she takes it out on us," Bigelow said.

"Hell hath no fury like Hot Lips Houlihan scorned," sighed Margie.


	6. Frank's Seven Dwarves

"Subversive! Degenerate! Insubordinate! Malingerer! Disgrace! Noncompliant! Discomfiture!"

And with that barrage of insults, Frank stormed out of the Swamp.

"The Seven Dwarves according to Ferret Face," Hawkeye said as he poured another martini.


	7. The Object of Her Objection

It wasn't like she _liked _him. He was obnoxious. He was loud. He was crude. He was a complete ass that looked upon women as nothing more than sex objects.

But it wasn't like she hated him either. Somehow, Hawkeye Pierce had wormed his way onto her good side, despite her protests.

He was the object of her objection.

_A/N: One million years have gone by since this has been updated, but my muse inspired me. Hopefully more shall come. And if you still remember me, you get my deep appreciation. And if you don't, then hi! How are you? _


	8. Spitfire

"Spitfire," Charles murmured. The 4077th's head nurse had finally gotten sick of Pierce's comments about the breakfast's quality and left the mess tent in a huff, and for that Charles was slightly miffed.

"I thought she'd never leave," commented Hunnicutt as he picked up a piece of toast. "Ten bucks says I can use this as a thicker version of steel wool."

"You're on." Pierce extended his hand and they shook authoritatively.

Charles shook his head. "Gentlemen," he said, standing up, "it has not been an honor and it _certainly _has not been a pleasure. Good day."

And he went off, none-too-slowly, in the wake left by Margaret Houlihan.

The two captains exchanged smirks.


End file.
